If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
