I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
