Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
