Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
