so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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