we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
