Can Purell be used as lube?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Who died my cat blue again?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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