bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
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Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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