with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What drink are we having for lunch?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
