I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
