Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
