nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
