It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
