I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize