I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
