I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
