i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
