No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
