I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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