fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
