we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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