Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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