apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Quick, to the slutcave!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize