From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
