even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
