last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
