im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
