Buhtt sex?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
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I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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