He kissed a someone with a penis
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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