that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
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Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize