Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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