so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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