Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We got so high we made milksteak
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
