RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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