I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
