My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
