it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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