I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize