I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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