we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
so much tequila, so little girl.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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