I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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