it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
