watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
