i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
