just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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