she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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