And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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