i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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