I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize