I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
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I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
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Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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