This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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