This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
