You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
