One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
