Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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