So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
