East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Small penises have feelings too.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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