OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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