I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
