i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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