Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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