Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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